A Heavy Heart

We had a wonderful evening last night welcoming Kyle's brother, Gabe, back into the country. What a blessing to have him home from China. The whole family was together (minus Walt, Jess & Levi), and we enjoyed fellowship over dinner.

When we got home I noticed I had a couple of missed calls from my parents, and so I called them back. Mom shared with me that my cousin Peter passed away yesterday. Peter was a cousin on my mom's side of a rather large family. Peter was a few years older than I, and I can't say that I knew him well. We played together some as kids, and had exchanged a few emails during his recent bout with leukemia. Even though I didn't know Peter well, I have been praying for him, as I do all my family, for several years. And when Mom told me he was gone, my heart sunk. You see, Peter openly rejected Jesus Christ. For years I have been praying Romans 10:1 for him - "My heart's desire and prayer to God for them is that they may be saved." I was praying that God would use the leukemia to soften Peter's heart towards Him, and that he would come to know Christ as Savior. For reasons only God can know, He chose to allow Peter's life to end as a result of the leukemia. And because God is God and I am not, I need to be okay with that. But my heart is heavy today. I love my family. God has been so good to give me such a rich christian heritage, and it saddens me to see one of my cousins not only reject that but reject the God who gives it.

I was crying this morning as I was thinking about Peter spending eternity without Christ. Kendrick came up to me and said, "Mommy, sad?" He wrapped his little arms around me and said, "Mommy, I love you. Don't be sad." Then he went to get me a kleenex.

Please pray for my extended family today. Pray for my Aunt Mary who lost her son. Pray for Rebekah and Deborah who lost a brother. Pray God's grace and strength will sustain them today and the next day, and the next.

Lamentations 3:25-26 encouraged me this morning - "The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, to the soul who seeks Him. It is good that one should hope and wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord."